The Charismatic You ?

Wed, Mar 24, 2010

Self Help Motivation

The Charismatic You ?

I have often linked charismatic  qualities to governors, church ministers and anyone in high positions of authority don’t ask me why maybe it’s because they are just charismatic . But hey! That’s not true because anyone can have,develop or build qualities of charisma. For me, the charismatic person is someone who is respected, liked and commands attention effortlessly. The person gets noticed without seeking for it. These type of individuals have something magnetic about them; they just have this lovely natural ability to draw and gravitate people towards them and once again effortlessly. You most likely would have no problems noticing them; they are usually the centre of attention! oh I love to be centre of attention don’t you ? Be honest no one is watching hehehe!!!

My Story

So! I accompanied a friend over the weekend to a kind of in-house party . It was one of those stand-up parties where you help yourself and simply mingle with whoever smiles at you first which was cool. Anyhow, as soon as we arrived at the party and was about to step in my friend had to take a phone call. Instead of me waiting outside for her I thought I might as well just go in the atmosphere looked lovely and welcoming .As I had escorted my friend I didn’t know who the host was….

Okay! so I said to myself instead of asking who the host was I will just try and figure that out myself . The host most likely will stand out anyway I thought. So, I did not ask anyone but engaged myself with the first person that caught my attention and was simultaneously scanning the room in an attempt to establish my mission. My friend joined me shortly and I told her what I had been up to. To my greatest surprise I couldn’t figure out who the host was . Instead I had been drawn to a lady who had lots of people around her. She was just across the room.She had a lovely smile on and did seem to be doing a good job entertaining people around her. There was lots of laughter and merry giggling coming from her end. She walked around the room majestically and freely like she knew everyone and was quick to engage other people. There was something about this lady I liked; I guess it was her smile which she did have on most of the time, I thought to myself how awesome!

The Charismatic You.

We are all unique in our ways and what works for Mr A may not work for work you. I guess this lady’s smile just worked for her. I have never really thought of charisma as something anyone can create and develop because I just thought charismatic people were born with the traits. But then I guess I am wrong because some of us will crave for it which takes the beauty of the effortless away from the whole perspective. The good news is that Professor Wiseman estimates charisma is 50% innate and 50% trained

How to Be  Charismatic.

The main rule in my view to be charismatic is simple; that is just Be who you are Be yourself! And here is what to do; Engage yourself in some soul searching and check yourself out from top to bottom, inside out, in an attempt to figure out your best qualities as we all have one so we can’t argue here! For instance ,are you a..

Considerate person?


Good listener?



Accommodating ?


If you are struggling to figure out any qualities then ask yourself the following questions, what feedback have you been receiving from people? Have people said they like your manners? How you comport yourself, how you look, your smile or anything particular about you? Bang! Once you have worked that out then the next step is to enhance that quality or qualities.

You see because you already have the quality in you developing or enhancing it should not be much of a problem or battle and of course effortlessly . In the process of you enhancing that quality already in you, you build your confidence and all the other traits associated with a charismatic person! It’s that simple and like I said we all have qualities but sometimes don’t recognize them.

The above informative analysis is just my way of postulating how to be the  charismatic you / person what’s yours?


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13 Responses to “The Charismatic You ?”

  1. becky Says:

    Great write up!

  2. Farouk Says:

    yes i agree with you, i don’t like the idea of attributing charisma to genes or heredity, i believe anyone can be charismatic if he decided to

  3. Gail Pallotta Says:

    An interesting article. I believe one key to being charismatic is a love of people. I’ve often heard that children and animals have a sense that tells them when folks care about them, and when they don’t. I think that can be extended. If someone truly cares about other people are is interested in them, they sense it. Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves.

  4. One of The Guys Says:

    Charismatic people are often described as outgoing, articulate and funny. They grab your attention and hold it.

    But I like the way you broaden the definition. Why can’t someone who is a great listener be charismatic?

    If you change the definition of charisma to someone who draws people to them, then being a good listener would work too, as well as some of the other qualities you mentioned.

    And yes, I also believe much of this can be learned. In fact that’s true for most of life’s skills. Genes play a part(nature), but much of it is also “nurture.”

  5. angelshair Says:

    I agree too!
    I believe that once you are comfortable with yourself, and with the world, you become charismatic. I have also noticed that happy people tend to be more attractive than depressed people. Great subject, and great post!!

  6. BK Says:

    Same thing for me, I have thought that Charismatic is a quality that one is born with. It did not cross my mind that I could be charismatic too. However, from what you have written and from Professor Wiseman, each of us may just have a chance to be charismatic if we work on it.

  7. suzen Says:

    I was so painfully shy as a child it took me years to develop an outgoing (hopefully charismatic) personality. I KNOW it can be learned – is learned – and is a choice. I have been places with people who just hold back and then later complain nobody notices them or talks to them. This is something you work at and get yourself past your inhibitions and insecurities and just get OUT there!

  8. Mark Says:

    Very interesting. I believe to be charismatic is to choose to be interested in others and carry yourself with confidence. These two qualities are hard to resist. We love confident (not cocky) people who show a sincere interest in others.

  9. Fay Says:

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    I have had a chance to complete my review of “Self Help Wellness” and it’s my pleasure to inform you that your blog has been added to our women’s blog directory.

    Make sure you watch for our monthly blog contest where you have the chance to win a spot in our “Featured Blogs” section.

    Continue the fine work you are doing with this blog and thank you for making our women’s blog directory that much more stronger!

  10. Dorothy Stahlnecker Says:

    Very interesting thoughts regarding being charismatic like you I always related them to the same discipline. Thus, I’ll think about what you said and develop my style towards being Charismatic…

    Dorothy from grammology

  11. Fatima Da Says:

    Thanks @Becky

    @Gail very interesting point, I suppose just knowing that we are loved is enough in itself to build our self confidence which is one of the traits of the charismatic person. God bless

    @Farouk, thanks for your comment, I don’t particularly mind the gene connection ,I belief that even so we can all learn and develop the traits of the charismatic person

    Thanks @Guys for your contribute, I love the point you raised about learning and life skills.

    True @Angelshair, happy people can be more attractive than the depressed.

    @BK thanks, how nice to know that we can all learn how to be charismatic.

    Thanks @SuZen YES! getting past our inhibitions , insecurities and building our self confidence to reap that lovely benefits of the charismatic person .

    That is so true @Mark thanks for your contribution.

    Thanks @Fay I am ever so honoured to be part of the Blogging Women directory.

    Awesome @Dorothy and thanks for your comment

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