Anger is one of the many universal emotions we all express every now and then; It can be viewed as Rancour, Resentment, Exasperation, Fury (Blind), Rage…It is the term used for a general displeasure. It can be productive or counterproductive depending on the course and nature of events. For the purpose of this post I   focus briefly on different types of anger and provide some basic self help motivation tips .P.S. some individuals may need to seek professional help that’s such as  anger management classes most are made readily available!
So what do you do when angry? How do you express anger and what types of angry moments do have to deal with every so often? To illuminate its significance I have cited some examples/stories below.
There are apparently to my profound knowledge up to 12 of these emotions but I have listed just a few here
1, Acting Out ; This is generally referred to as behavioural but I have renamed it because  it’s mostly about acting out. This type of anger is typically directed outward; it describes someone who projects their anger towards another person or a non living thing  for reasons best known to them. For example a person may lose all sense of self control and decide to smash up their house in response to a situation they are not happy with. A more critical case can be of young person hitting his mother because he is not happy with her current boyfriend. The root cause of this indignation might stem from different sources i.e jealousy, insecurity.
2, Vocal ; Here  anger is expressed through words in a hostile, invective abusive, aggressive  and malicious manner .For instance an individual can tap into another person’s weakness  by being vulgar and  profane. This can be very unsettling and devastating.
3, Self-infliction ; This is anger directed towards self in a maladaptive manner. People who self harm in various ways from head banging against various objects, over exercising in the gym, wrist slashing etc can fit into this association. In most occasions people who fall under these categories may respond well to professional help.
4 Premeditated; So what do you do when angry ? Here the person deliberately creates anger either to draw attention, distract attention  or simply get their own way i.e.  a group of lads walk into a shop and start arguing vehemently in an anti-social way with the shop attendant in order to distract his attention whilst they steal from the shop. This portrayal of anger could be considered as pre-planned!
5 Passive anger: As the word implies and connotes. People in this category may result in the use sarcasm or mockery as a way to hide their feelings and typically express this form of anger. They tend to avoid confrontations with people or situations and pass snide comments whenever they’re going through  angry phases or patches. As their anger is passive I often worry about how this will impact on their general health as a whole. . Â
6, Hot Tempered and short fused; Hot tempered people fall easily under this category; they can be explosive, unpredictable and express anger both verbally and physically. For example a lady had been waiting patiently in a queue for over 2 hours suddenly she decides to jump the queue, goes straight to the cashier, pulls her by the hair and tells her “That’s what you get for wasting my F****ing time .â€
 We all from time to time express anger due to various reasons which is mostly linked to someone, a situation or something we are not happy with.
What do you do when angry? Research has suggested that anger can lead to stress or  ill health. Below are a few self help motivation tips .
Â
Â
 Tips to Manage Anger with practice Â
Apply relaxation techniques such as taking a deep breath ,hydrating the body by drinking some water to cool off etc to diffuse the anger .You can practise  breathing exercises here .
Say nothing or walk away; At times keeping quiet, going for a walk  and not reacting by lashing out can be the best thing a person could do at the point of anger. Some suggest counting to 10 or more or reciting the alphabets is another way of maintaining your calmness; try out what works for you! The key accomplishment to counting is to calm your nerves and eventually wine down to a state of equilibrium!
 Smile; This is a universal language and generally helps to impact  positive developments in most situations. Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.†it’s that simple. Humour, is another tool here but use it wisely not to aggravate the situation.
 Improve communication and social skills; Here our ability to communicate and engage will determine how well we handle intense, irate and angry situations as we all differ in our ways. By slowing down to think and reflect before acting can be handy; in addition try and listen carefully to the other person or situation .Â
 Perception; Our perception will have a powerful influence on our day to day activities. Applying and improving our cognitive ability to understand others is a great tool. This can be done by research, better communication and having an open mind in order to understand where other person is coming from.
 Look into you; Are you the cause of people around you getting angry or making you angry? This an opportunity to review necessary aspects  of life and make yawning changes as needed. For instance, are you in a bad relationship and keep taking it out on the people around you ? Do you keep turning up late for appointments for no good reasons? And many more. We simply here have to understand the importance’s of being responsible and reasonable!
 I hope you had a pleasant Valentine’s Day …Good Luck and I hope these few self help motivation tips will help if needed .
Â
PS if you have any ideas please don’t forget to share! 
15. February 2010 at 5:57 pm
Hi Fatima! This is a wonderful article about anger – and knowing there is a whole world out there of angry people, they need to read this! Your anger managment tips are spot on! If I ever feel an angry thought coming on, breathing exercises and realizing my ego is ruining my peace usually makes the anger melt.
15. February 2010 at 7:18 pm
You’ve covered it pretty well here. Good post!
I’ve gotten much better at dealing with anger. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that I’m never happy about getting mad. Meaning, even if I’m right, it still would have been better to just “walk away” as you say. Arguing, fighting and getting mad just cause people to have extra stress in their lives. And for me I stay stressed out for a long time over stupid things.
16. February 2010 at 1:56 pm
Nice post Fatima Da. Anger is often caused when we resist something. One of the best ways to stop anger is to stay neutral and not feed into the fire. When an opposing person sees that we are not giving into their drama, eventually the anger will die down. Other times, if we are angry with ourselves for whatever reason, we just need to learn to let go and cool down before we feel calm enough to think rationally again.
16. February 2010 at 4:35 pm
anger, such an enemy this is a great post.
My first visit…
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
16. February 2010 at 10:36 pm
Great post! I’d like to think that I practice all these tips but the one thing that always trips me up is that there’s a lot of room for improvement with my communication skills when I am angry. I literally have to take at least a few seconds and distance myself from the situation before I can be coherent and effective with what I want to say.
17. February 2010 at 9:17 am
@Guy Awesome it’s kinda of nice to feel that way as it just seems to sort out the problem if any.
@Hulbert Thanks for your contribution, I love the idea … “to feel calm in order to think rationally again”. In addition Staying neutral sounds great too provided the opposing side has the strength not to feed into the fire.
I agree with you @Dorothy anger can be such an enemy, thanks for visiting .
Thanks @SuZen, I love the whole concept of relaxation, it’s a skill though that needs to be leant and mastered .
@Belinda Sometimes after an angry outburst we are left with questions popping out of our head. Which seems normal cuz at time of anger our heart beats fasters, we breath more heavily and our muscles become tense ready for action, I mean either to lash out shout or so… I suppose at this stage our thoughts become somewhat irrational which may explain the negative things we say or do when angry…. Then the need to distance ourselves to be coherent and effective again …. Thanks
18. February 2010 at 8:40 am
Fatima, can’t add much. You’ve certainly covered all the bases here. In the neighborhood where I grew up anger and violence were practically synonymous. If somebody bothered you, you bopped them over the head. If children could learn from a young age what anger is and how to constructively express and defuse it, how much happier and richer their lives would be.
19. February 2010 at 7:39 am
Hi Fatima,
I am like suZen breathing and ego check, believe me it wasn’t always that way! I was in the middle of ten kids and I had a lot of anger growing up and I acted out big time.
When I worked with addicts and prisoners I discovered that most crimes are committed when they are raging. They actually get so angry they black out and truly don’t remember comitting the crime. In prison I truly believe if they were on the proper meds plus therapy they would not have gotten in trouble. Sad…so I would say anger management won’t be enough for some they need meds as well. Without the combination classes or therapy aren’t enough.
20. February 2010 at 8:32 am
What a great comprehensive article!! I had not thought of anger in so many ways.
I admit I used to anger quickly, but now hardly ever, as I am constantly monitoring myself and my feelings, to not even get to that place. And if I do find myself judging a situation, I just breathe and let it slide. Motherhod has been the greatest thing for growing my patience and realizing that little slights and upsets are just that — little!
Have an awesome day!!!
xo
20. February 2010 at 8:34 am
I guess I did not have my URL in above.
20. February 2010 at 3:52 pm
Thanks @Tess it’s truly sad . But then sometimes things do have to spiral out of control before some people access or receive proper treatment interventions such as therapy or anger management . With medication I am not too sure what’s best when it comes to anger, I suppose the benzo’s can be used here but as you know has an addictive nature hence only best for short time use. My take like you is therapy and medication only if needed. Thanks for stopping by.
Thanks @Jannie …The beauty of motherhood and what it can do to most of us …how wonderful !. And your url is still not showing up, but I am sure you did be visiting again.