Self Help Wellness

Envy is the most stupid of vices, for there is no single advantage to be gained from it. ~Honore de Balzac.

Envy and jealously are one of the many human emotions , I am not too sure if I will like to call them both negative emotions but stay with me while we try and provide  clear definitions of both and most importantly provide you with practical ways to eliminate envy and jealousy.

Think exist,  has looked at Envy as the ability to feel envy at or towards; to be envious of; to have a feeling of uneasiness or mortification in regard to (any one), arising from the sight of another’s excellence or good fortune and a longing to possess it… this is not looking good I mean Envy … is it ? I can’t imagine living with these thoughts or emotions….. of uneasiness hate , pain and I am sure the list of bitter emotions could go on.

Jealously, on the other hand, has a similar meaning but according to the great Wikipedia it should not be confused with Envy. They defined Jealousy as an emotion that “typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust” Right! Jealously looks worse and if you are having to deal with these multiple negative emotions all at once or at different times then hopefully this post will shed some light on how to get out of the rut and fast …

I will start by sharing some of me here. I would like to thank God first for my upbringing because I feel the home can reflect our outlook of life. For instance, if you had to deal with sibling rivalry or jealous parents you most likely would have consciously or unconsciously picked up and learnt all about these emotions. I had the luxury of growing up with boys; I mean my brothers and we all simply got on but don’t get me wrong we had our misunderstandings but nothing like jealously or sibling rivalry .I suppose it’s because men are not emotional creatures like women!

I belief most of us may have felt either envy or jealously at one point in our lifes’. And here is an example of how I will typically address envy.

Example

ME: Hey Ben you are doing so well of late. I have noticed that you have just got yourself a new car … hhhm… it,s lovely and I love the color.. congratulations!

Ben : Oh thanks we just thought we needed a new car so I treated myself to one.

ME: You have done well, how is the family ?

Ben :  Tells me the family is getting on briefly…

Me : listens carefully.

Ben: And we have been doing so well with our business too, just made some profit.

Me: Oh (giggles) that explains the treat init? So tell me more about your business

Okay this is just an example of how I will address someone I may feel envious about but I rather say someone I admire. The words jealously and Envy are so negative I can’t bear to even mention them! Remember these are coping strategies  .The word Admire has a positive connotation attached to it and is more pleasing on the mind compared to jealously and Envy which are associated with a lot of negative emotions and thoughts.

Some Fast Coping Strategies

Now the key here is your ability to communicate your feelings to whoever you envy or are jealously about. In the process learn and acknowledge them; after all they have done what you would like to do .There is nothing wrong in acknowledging another person’s strength; this is very important to remember, always give credit where it is due. It helps you eliminate those horrible feelings of uneasiness and like Honore de Balzac says “ Envy is the most stupid of vices, for there is no single advantage to be gained from it” apply the same for jealously .

In summary ,my point is  listen to those you envy; learn from them if they are willing to share; communicate your feelings and most importantly acknowledged there skills or strength . It’s that simply and it cost you nothing but a good night’s sleep. If you are struggling you may have to hire a therapist or coach, good luck  and  don’t forget to share your thoughts…  

Eliminate Jealously

The word jealously and envy has overlapped as they have similar negative emotions and thoughts. However as you can see jealously is often related to feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values such as a relationship, friendship, or love .

Check out this videotape to Overcome Jealously and kill that green eye monster called jealously. This video provides you with seven great steps ,you could also check out the link here NoMoreJealousy!

There is no greater glory than love, nor any great punishment than jealously ~Lope de Vega

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